If God has no sense of humor, I'm going to hell for sure. But then, if God has no sense of humor, I don't want anything to do with that God anyway.
So here are 2013's Jesuses of Christmas, or Jobber Jesuses. People I would cast as Jesus if I were to make a Wrestling Bible movie.
Jake Jenkins is beautiful suffering, and doesn't give up, no matter how long the suffering goes on. (Granted, I've heard he's a heel sometimes, but not in the two matches I've seen, so that's what I'm going off of here.)
Besides, look at these pictures of him from Jobberpaloozer 12. Can't you almost SEE the cross?
Aaron O'Connell can do "hot mess." (See: His role as Wyatt on "The Haves and the Have Nots.") He is the perfect combination of vulnerability and strength.
Of course, Jesus is entitled to some time with Mary Magdalene...
Johnny Handsome of Cyberfights never stops fighting, even though both matches of his I've seen were triple threats that basically devolved into two-on-one matches against him.
Possibly more non-traditional in appearance than the first two for Jesus, Johnny would certainly make a stocky Jesus with a hot ass. But you guys, come on. The Bible never said Jesus DIDN'T have a hot ass. Just sayin'.
Back to BG East for Kid Brock, a great guy with a naive streak a mile wide. He really believes the best in people. His opponent challenges him to a pose-off? No way would that opponent be planning a surprise attack. His opponent may attack HIM between rounds, but Kid Brock gives his opponent ample recovery time between rounds, because that's only fair. And why NOT help your opponent to his feet? Why would you automatically assume that your opponent would take advantage of that and surprise attack you? Kid Brock is the Jesus who sees the best in everybody, and when he sees the worst, doesn't give up on them. The cynical part of me thinks this also sounds like "doormat," but if you want to be nice, you have to trust people sometimes. Even if it makes you vulnerable.
Have a happy New Year's Eve, everybody! Be safe!