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Friday, August 28, 2015

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Dashing Through Time

Smile, darn ya, smile!

Whatcha gonna do with all that ash?

So earlier I talked about Terminator 2 (with the hotness of both Arnold Schwarzenegger AND Linda Hamilton), and since that time, I have now seen Terminators 1, 2 and 3.

Loved the first two.  Before I saw it, I read a lot of bad things about the third one.  The general online reaction seemed to be: It's garbage.  At this point, that jobber-love of mine kicked in, and I was kind of prepared to love it, because a lot of times when everybody hates something, I find it endearing.

(Oddly enough, while watching it, I realized I had seen part of it on TV some time ago, while flipping through channels.  Claire Danes in a vet's office, locking some guy in a dog cage.  I had NO idea what it was at the time.)

So I watched Terminator 3 with an open mind, and my conclusion was: It's garbage.

It wasn't just the things like: Why didn't that truck kill Claire Danes; why did that stuff blow up; if she can turn her hands into badass weapons why was she using that cop's little gun; if her hands can be guns why turn them into a chainsaw to kill that guy; bullSHIT that's how they wrote out Sarah Connor.

No, the problem was this: The message of the first two movies was, We're not controlled by fate.  We have free will and we make our own choices, our own futures.  The message of the third movie was, Fate is unavoidable, nothing you do will change the way everything is going to be.

Personally I prefer the message of the first two movies.  I even found out about an alternate ending to T2, which shows a peaceful future and definitively ends the series.  (On the "Skynet" edition of the Blu-Ray, when choosing which version to watch, there's a place to input a code, and if you input "82997," the date of the movie's apocalypse, it shows the version with the alternate ending.  It's geeky and awesome.)  So that's my favorite version of the movie.  And I've decided that I will continue to watch Terminators 1 and 2, and that's it.  There are no more Terminator movies or TV shows after that, because there's no room for it.  Why would there be any more?  I mean, I don't want to say CASHGRAB


Okay, by deciding not to say CASHGRAB, I really painted myself into a corner with that last paragraph.  So moving on.  As a warning, you MIGHT not want to talk (or listen to other people who are talking) about time travel online.  There are people with very strong feelings on the subject, who feel very confident (and maybe superior?) with their ideas, and they can be pretty forceful or condescending in airing their views.  Personally, I have a hard time taking anyone seriously when they say things like, "Time travel wouldn't happen like that, because..."  Just stop, 'cause know what?  Time travel wouldn't happen, PERIOD.  You can't correct people for fictioning wrong.  (In terms of T2's peaceful conclusion though, yeah, Kyle Reese was sent back in time, but now in the future, they won't need to send him back again, because they already did that.  And it changed the future, which was the point, so they don't need to do it again.  Guess time travel goes into alternate realities pretty easily, huh.)

ANYWAY if you ARE interested in time travel and have about four minutes, I've taken the liberty of providing you with the one thing I found that probably shows time travel as it would REALLY work.  Click on these letters here, or watch it below.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

You've Got The Cutest Little Babyface

Andy Ashton (6'0, 185 lbs.) is blond, English, and has a super-great smile.  As always, it's fun to try to cast models as wrestlers: I could see people trying to make him be a heel, maybe with a narcissistic gimmick (and somehow that British accent can really pull off that "better than you" attitude), but I say no way.  He's got to be a face, all the way.  His smile is just too sincere; he's just too cute to take as a serious evil threat.

With Kate Moss

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Jojo's Circus

Know how it's fun to imagine hot models or dancers as wrestlers?  Well it's a lot easier when said model or dancer puts up a video of himself wearing clothes very similar to those worn by Paul London and Brian Kendrick:  I give you Jojo Guadagno.

He's cute AND hot.

With boyfriend, dancer/singer Blake McGrath

Plus, twerking.

Friday, August 21, 2015

The Cyborg Who Tried To Help Stop The Apocalypse

That would have been a pretty good title for a movie, right?  Instead, James Cameron chose to go with "Terminator 2: Judgment Day."  I saw it once as a kid, and here's what I took away from it at the time:

  • Reba the Mail Lady from "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" was in it
  • The twins from "Gremlins 2" were in it
  • John Connor seemed like this cool older kid with a moped, and I wished I had his hair
Recently I watched it again, and I was surprised how much I liked it.  But first let's get the biggest surprise out of the way: John Connor was not the cool older kid anymore.  I mean, I KNEW he wouldn't still be older than me, but I was surprised by how young he was.  And for how young he was, he really DID swear too much.  When I was a kid, I think I thought he was edgy, but now it's like, "You're not impressing anyone, son; go wash your mouth out."  And hey, you know how after that Star Wars movie (the fourth one or the first one or whatever) everyone complained about how annoying that little kid was, and like ruined his childhood or whatever?  Where was that for John Connor in this movie?  I guess it wasn't there since this pre-dated the mean internet.  And I know that basically ALL kids are annoying, but John Connor in this movie: REALLY fucking annoying.  Especially when he'd shout for his mother.  "Maaahhhmmm!!!"  Oh, shut up.  (And maybe get your hair out of your eyes.)

Anyway this movie was basically about two cyborgs: Arnold Schwarzenegger is the nice bull, and Robert Patrick is the mean weasel.

I have to admit though, at Arnold's arrival, the whole naked bodybuilder scene kind of offended me.  LOL JK

This time watching the movie, I really loved Arnold.  He did "big nice bull" really well.  And it was so refreshing for this movie to not have the good guys kill all the cops who were basically just doing their jobs.

Something else that really caught me off guard though: Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor was pretty hot.

She had this thing she'd do, where she'd be smoking, but she'd never knock the ash off.  Eventually she'd be holding this cigarette stub with this giant length of ash shaped like a cigarette.  I had so much fun imagining her smoking like that while her Terminator Arnold fussed right behind her, waiting for the ash to fall and wanting to catch it, and her knowing her giant cigarette ash was driving him crazy.

She was pretty bad-ass.  And really fit, too.

But her hotness wasn't just in her physical appearance.  She was all world-weary and stuff.

And other than being physically talented in terms of both cigarette ash and improvised mental institution pull-ups, she was super-spiritual.

Like when she communicated with the spirit of her dead/not-born-yet lover, played by Michael Biehn:

Or when she had a vision of the future, and in the vision could see herself playing with her child, and was trying to warn everybody, AND HER FUTURE SELF HEARD HER PAST SELF TRYING TO WARN HER.

In conclusion.  I don't know, I'm kind of done talking.  Linda Hamilton's hotness surprised me, so I guess that makes me kind of gay.  Or like, gay gay.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Power Serge

The second Inner Jobber post to feature Serge Henir (6', 198 lbs.).  He's super-easy to post about, because every photo of him out there is beautiful.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Power Kick

Joel Thomas: 5'8.5, weight, I'm guessing heavyweight.  I've been on this power kick, where it's these guys who might be considered short by some, but are really powerful, that do it for me.

Funny thing about feeling it for the bodybuilder types.  All of the images here, absolutely sexy.  The only images for bodybuilders that don't really do it for me are the competition photos themselves.  You just want to take them home and give them food and wipe that bronzer off of them.  And the numbers on the posing trunks, as if they're reduced to mere cattle, being paraded around for our pleasure, posing and flexing and turning this way and that to try to win our approval...Wait, wait, it's starting to work for me.  Okay, that's hot, too.