Translate Inner Jobber!

Saturday, May 28, 2016

I Like Tyler Breeze



AND Fandango.



But I don't want to call them "Breezango."  At least not until WWE make up their minds on if it's spelled "Breezango" or "Breezeango."  I would go with "Breezango."

Friday, May 27, 2016

La Vie En Jobber

Or, Looking At The World Through Jobber-Colored Glasses



Now, is it just me, am I desperately searching for signs of jobbery jobdom to appear in the world of wrestling, or do Zack Ryder's manly beard and neon-colored gear (and win-loss record) make him look especially jobbery, in the most delightful way?  I was away from wrestling for a while, so I don't know how long this has been going on, but more of this, please.  Because I love jobbers.  AND their matches.  (Minus the part where they get fired.  I can do without that part.)






Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Blond And Beyond


Model/actor Anton Narinskiy: my newest happy find, coming in at 6'4.  (Hey, I never said I didn't like tall guys, too.)  Born in Russia, moved to America as a child, grew up to become known for being achingly pretty and steamingly sexy and maybe even kind of upbeat/funny/dorky sometimes, and what more could anybody want.









Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Buster Brown

Previously on Inner Jobber, we talked about height and celebrated the hotness of the "Under Six Foot" Club.  Now I present to you what may be the Holy Grail of short and hot: BG East's Buster.


Though listed as 5'7 on his profile page, specific matches bill his height differently, as short as 5'4.  I'm inclined to believe the 5'4 stat--sometimes a couple inches are added, but I don't think people usually take a couple inches OFF height statistics.  Either way, Buster may be short, yes, but impossibly wide.  Whatever his height, the weight is usually in agreement at 180 lbs., and 180 lbs. of muscle on a 5'4 frame is a LOT of power.

AND, he's gorgeous.  Kind of smouldery.  He's got a mouth on him like an illustration from the late 1800's or early 1900's.  (I'm not sure I can explain that any better.)

Sadly, I have not yet seen Buster in action.  But I can assure you a Buster match is on my horizon, the next time I have the opportunity (i.e. money, 'cause dudes, homoerotic wrestling is kinda expensive).  There's just the matter of picking which from his history of matches.  I can start by narrowing it down pretty easy, by eliminating his (many) matches that are listed with the BG East Nudity Asterisk.  No two wrestling fans enjoy exactly the same thing, and I don't know why there would be a difference really between barely-there trunks and not-there-at-all trunks, but there you go.  I mean I don't think I'm a PRUDE, but for some reason I think that wrestling with gear on makes it hotter.  So there you have it: a glimpse into my inner-most bosom, an insight into my secret preferences that you never asked for, and that I've probably already talked about before and then forgotten, saying the same thing repeatedly as if it was the first time ever each time.  (Once I started a blog, I discovered I tend to do that.)

And now, more Buster, as seen on BG East's site!









Thursday, May 12, 2016

A Short Talk

I've never felt particularly short.  In fact, being the tallest one at home, I was usually the default light-bulb-changer, top-shelf-reacher, et cetera.  On a totally unrelated note, I know that Tom Cruise is usually referenced in a joking manner for his well-known shortness.  I always just assumed that he must be, you know, AWFULLY short.  Recently I realized that apparently, I'm not taller than Tom Cruise.  In FACT, I seem to be the same height.  In FACT, I MIGHT be a little shorter than Tom Cruise.  (Different sites give different heights.)  So Tom Cruise, you know, isn't really all THAT short, after all.

I once had a post about super-hot model Danny Dobson, who stands at 5'7 and is achingly pretty.

Danny Dobson, 5'7

Everyone is entitled to their own tastes and opinions.  Obviously.  Anonymous left a comment that Dobson's height "really hurts his sexiness," and in fact even went on to say that he (Anonymous) would "rather be overweight and tall than as cut as he is and that short."  (I was actually quite proud of my response to that, which didn't contain even a single "Fuck you.")

I don't have anything against overweight tall people.  That can be extremely sexy.  (R.I.P. Iron Mike Sharpe.)  I just feel bad that so often, height is such a determining factor in people's minds.  It's a strong influence in society, women and men tending to pair up in man-tall, woman-short couples to meet society's expectations.  (I'm not saying people will get married based on height.  But as Anonymous showed us, people WILL eliminate options based on height.)

So I wanted to showcase a few hot wrestlers on the shorter end of the height spectrum.  By no means comprehensive, and also not necessarily "the shortest of the short."  Today, I take them all from WWE.  Anonymous, if you're still reading, you'll probably want to stop here, as no one featured today will hit six feet.  (Thanks for visiting, though!)

Chad Gable: 5'8

Short answer: No.
Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.




AJ Styles: 5'10 (5'8?  5'7 even?  There are rumors...)







Adrian Neville: 5'10

A little tall for inclusion? Certainly not! I'm not a height snob.

(As you can see from the first image, I'm a sucker for pictures that make people look naked when they're not. It's better even than naked-for-real pictures.)





Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Arms Race


I enjoyed "Captain America: Civil War."  Chris Evans did a fine job.  Particularly in my favorite scene, when he attempts to pull a helicopter back onto a roof, and the real stars of the movie make their appearance: Chris Evans' arms.  Please enjoy the following images of Chris Evans' arms.