Zach Altovito vs. Ronnie Pearl (Good Lord)

Remember that time I got obsessed with Zach Altovito, and pretty much gushed about him, on the strength of one picture taken to promote an upcoming Wrestler4Hire match?  And speaking of Wrestler4Hire, did you ever really stop and think about how Cameron Matthews is like, THE kindest, THE sexiest, THE smartest man ever to run a wrestling website?  And I don't just say that because he very very generously gave me the match in question to talk about on Inner Jobber.  Not at ALL.

But could a match like that possibly deliver after all that build-up in my head?  Could Zach Altovito the wrestler POSSIBLY live up to Zach Altovito the fantasyman I had created?  Well, in both cases, the short answer is "Yes," and the long answer is "YEEEEEESSSSSS."

Okay, Zach Altovito vs. Ronnie Pearl.  Let's start with Pearl, who was a pretty big mystery to me.  I didn't know who Zach's opponent was going to be, and I had never seen Ronnie Pearl wrestle before.  Even sharing a ring with Zach Altovito, Ronnie Pearl is noticeably handsome.  He's a bit of a heel (okay, a LOT of a heel), and a guttural sufferer: His grunts and groans and whimpers and begging off and arching pelvis and smooth good looks make me think he must be the lovechild of "Iron" Mike Sharpe and Val Venis.  (And anybody who knows Inner Jobber at all will realize what a huge compliment that is.)

And Zach Altovito.  Let me tell you what about his masculine beauty attracted me: He's big and powerful, but with a kind face and gentle eyes.  And such is, pretty much, his wrestling persona in this match (the first of his I've seen, but not the last, not by a long shot if I have my way).  The nice, innocent lug naively accepts Ronnie Pearl's offer of a pre-match handshake.  Oh no.

Jobber 101: NEVER accept a pre-match handshake from a handsome wrestler with a well-groomed beard!  Ronnie takes advantage of his sneak attack and gets some work in, showing off both his own fine ass, as well as the powerful legs and hindquarters of my new favorite wrestler, Zach Altovito.

Considering Zach's size and strength, maybe Ronnie realizes how important it is to press his advantage, because press it he does, right into Zach's throat.

But here comes a wrestling twist.  Are you ready for it?  This is not a purely one-sided squash match!  It's back-and-forth and competitive.  Zach Altovito is no pushover, and is able to come back with moves of his own.  Including a bearhug or four, which basically you'll have been HOPING he would use, because he is BUILT to give bearhugs.

So here's my take on Sweet Zach Altovito.  While powerfully strong, he's gentle, good-natured, maybe a little naive (maybe enough to seem a bit dumb...?), BUT.  If a heel (like say, Ronnie Pearl) gets nasty and plays dirty, then Altovito can get rough too.  As he does in one of my favorite parts of the match, when he's pretty much just choking Ronnie Pearl with both hands.  As Ronnie gasps and splutters for utterance (or air), Zach taunts him: "Sounds like you can't breathe or something.  Having trouble?"

A beautiful wrestler whose fair-mindedness and naivete can sometimes lead to opponents taking advantage of him and making him a jobber, but who, when his sense of fairness is riled, can go on the offense, and attack when attacked...Is it any wonder Zach Altovito is my favorite wrestler now, on the strength of this one match?  (Besides, check out those legs in the photo below.)

Ahem.  In conclusion.  Zach Altovito vs. Ronnie Pearl.  Available soon from Wrestler4Hire.  It is good.  You will like it.

Wait a minute--Is he wearing Marc Merino's trunks from Max Quivers vs. Marc Merino (Knocked Out)?