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Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Beefy Bear Squash: Arn Anderson As A Jobber?!


Or: A Mean Heel Gets His Comeuppance

Or: This Is What It Sounds Like When Heels Job

In the match linked above and playable at the bottom of this post (Arn Anderson vs the Giant), Arn Anderson is the smaller man for a change of pace.  Even so, he does not alter his tried and true technique of attempting to overpower his opponent, which makes him come off somewhat...well...stupid in this match.  Which for me just makes it that much hotter.  Oh that Arn...

A good match if you like to see a solid beefy hairy guy taken down a notch.






Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Too Pretty Carousel Jobber Boy


From the Melanie Martinez videos "Carousel" and "Alphabet Boy" (his buff arms, anyway) comes beautiful model Austin Scoggin, 6'5", just begging for a harsh initiation in a wrestling ring.  SO pretty, could pull off a touch of arrogance, PERFECT jobber material.









Thursday, December 22, 2016

Knock-Out Christmas

Aw!  Just like an exciting Christmas present, Rock Hard Wrestling sent me an e-mail with a download code for Ethan Andrews vs. Zack Johnathan.  Why, thank you so much!

I think there's something here for everybody.  If you like hard-fought, back-and-forth matches, this one has plenty of give-and-take.  If, like me, you're a bigger fan of jobbers, and post-match humiliation, this has plenty of that too, towards the end.

But MY absolute favorite part of this match comes right between the give-and-take and the humiliation.  The knock-out piledriver!  The unconscious victim being unceremoniously hoisted up and dragged into position by the victor!  This is the true heart and soul of the match for me.  (In order to show my favorite parts, but still not give too much away, I've used cheap computer trickery on the images to make them look cartoony.  Besides, it makes it feel like an animated Christmas special.)

Happy holidays, everybody!




Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Sexy, Sexy Puppy


Mojo Rawley is like a puppy in his unbounded enthusiasm and eagerness to please.  A great big sexy jobbery puppy.  And this video is just for fun, because even us jobber lovers know that sometimes, sexy moments happen BETWEEN the moves.



Thursday, October 27, 2016

As They Should Be


Wrestler4Hire's Maverick vs. Zach Reno ("Play Toy") features Maverick as he SHOULD be featured.  Not lost in the shuffle of a dozen cruiserweights, but in an inescapable one-on-one.  From body to trimmed beard to brisk, clipped commands, Maverick is tight and business-like.

Poor Zach is also perfection in this video, as the hapless, hairy jobber who STARTS the match chained to the ring.  Maybe we're seeing this unkempt stud as HE should be, too.  Poor bad doggy.  Sometimes, when you're faced with insurmountable odds, they really DO prove insurmountable.  (Hee hee, I said "mountable.")

By the vicious end of this match, one man is calling the other "Master," and you know, without wanting to give anything away or anything, it's probably the one you think it's gonna be.




Saturday, October 22, 2016

By The Power Of What The Fuh...?


Speaking of Brian Cage, I'm just going to assume that none of you knew about "Fall of Grayskull," a fan film in which Brian Cage himself plays He-Man, because surely you would have told me.


My only real complaint is, that chest piece seems awfully big.  And if I remember correctly, he wears it the WHOLE TIME.  Teela and Evil Lynn show more skin.  Pfft, straight people, amIright?


What I love about Brian Cage being in this, is how it really shows this whole attitude he seems to have, of, "Screw you, I'm gonna do what I want and have fun."  A while back I had read an interview with Cage talking about being let go by the WWE, and he said they were stupid for letting him go (true enough), and a lot of people were criticizing him for burning his bridges behind him like that.  But more recently, I read an interview where he talked about WWE feeling like walking on eggshells the whole time, but in Lucha Underground, wrestling feels more like how he thought it would be, when he was a kid who loved wrestling.  So for a lot of people, the fact that someone would be happier NOT in WWE confounds them, but putting happiness over money makes a lot of sense to me.  Good on you, Brian Cage.  You have the power!


Friday, October 21, 2016

Too Alpha?


You know, if I wasn't careful, I could really bore you by incessantly going on about how physically perfect I find Barry Burke (AKA Brian Cage).  Even among other wrestlers, he stands out as a specimen of strength and beauty and, despite his bulk, agility.  Contrasting him with his opponents makes you think that Burke could actually be a different species, the next step in evolution.  (And a freakin' ass on 'im that makes me think I was too fast to be so complimentary of Chase LaChance's ass yesterday.)


And of course, as a jobber lover, I DO enjoy seeing him on the receiving end of some trouble, as in his match against Lane Hartley and Kelly King ("Double-Teamed," at Wrestler4Hire).  But--and I say this with all love and respect--sometimes I think that Burke may just be too alpha to TRULY be a jobber.


He cracks wise throughout his matches, regardless of whether he's winning or losing.  After Hartley and King put Burke to sleep (truly a sight to behold), the heels wake him up with a painful double-team maneuver.  Burke cries out, "What a horrible dream!"  He cracks me up, and it cracks me up to think how frustrating that must be to an opponent.  Even if you're winning, it would be hard to feel dominant with that kind of flippant attitude from your supposed jobber.


But please don't get me wrong; Burke's attitude, and the possibility that he's no real jobber, does nothing to diminish the delight in seeing that beautiful specimen taken down a peg or two by a couple of determined and nasty heels.  And Lane Hartley and Kelly King certainly have mouths of their own, to counter Burke's disrespectful light-heartedness.  It isn't the nastiest beatdown, but it's a fun beatdown, and I hope that makes sense to you.


And Nasty Heels!  That is your challenge: TRULY make Brian Cage/Barry Burke your jobber!


(A special shout-out to the camera work in this match.  It puts you right in there, without being in the way.  For some reason that just really grabbed my attention this time.)