No Light, No Light

The sky the other morning was clear and bright and blue and beautiful, but winter cold, offering no warmth.  Similarly, Raw had some of my favorite people in it, but still left me cold.  I'm starting to seriously consider giving up watching Raw and SmackDown, and sticking to DVD's, and maybe Ring of Honor.  Last Monday's Raw, I don't know, I even got my usual approximately 40 minutes of good stuff recorded from the two-hour broadcast, but it still left me feeling pretty bleak.  And life's pretty short to be spending two hours of mostly unappealing idiocy in order to gleam the few shards of light.

According to rumor websites, however, it was also John Morrison's last episode, and it was predicted that they would job him out to someone big time on his way out.  Lo and behold, the predictions were correct, it happened as it had been told, like a prophecy coming to fruition.  Not really a big surprise; it had been predicted for some time that Jomo was on his way out.  Hm, maybe wrestling would be more fun if I could make myself not read those rumor boards.  Nah, it's not just that, it's the commentating, the blatant misuse of good talent, I won't go on.

Rumor had it that Brodus Clay's long (loooooooooooong)-delayed debut would be squashing Jomo.  I wouldn't have minded that; I think he's pretty hot.  In a non-traditional way, sure, but it works for me!

Instead, Jomo destruction duty went to The Miz.  I've always been kind of lukewarm on The Miz.  Switching to trunks was a good move on his part.  But for the most part, the hotness of his opponent is integral to my attention span in his matches.  Of course with Jomo as his opponent, I'm on board.

It's sad, knowing that may have been (probably was) his last match there, and not knowing when or where he'll appear next.  But still, in the way of jobber appreciation, it was very hot.  Foreign objects, some token offense, but ultimately the heel standing over his jobber, who he's laid out cold.

"No light, no light in your bright blue eyes..."

Trick Or Treat

"Halloween" by Siouxsie and the Banshees

(Click image to enlarge)

Show Me Your Teeth

I know I'm not alone in finding a nice set of teeth to be very attractive.  And not just the cleanliness, but the size and shape.  Here are some teeth I particularly admire.

Ezekiel Jackson's teeth are very white, but they are also large and powerful, like the man himself.

Some may say Jomo doesn't have much reason to smile lately, but when he does, those teeth stand out!  (His beard really makes them pop, but I couldn't find a bearded smiling picture.  I think he's kind of too cool to smile all that much.)

Matt Striker's white teeth always stand out against his tan face.  So clean and handsome!

I've had a crush on Alanis Morissette and her teeth since "Jagged Little Pill"!  But it's her second album that's always been my favorite.  Is it because her teeth are featured so prominently on the cover of "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie"?  Probably not entirely, but it doesn't hurt!

Poe is beautiful and talented, and her teeth have a very special place in my heart.  I had a back-row bottom tooth just like she does!  And I was so happy to see someone else with teeth like that.  When I was a kid, I needed horrible nerdy stuff, braces and special shoes for my ankles, but we couldn't afford any of those things.  Later, in high school, the dentist said the braces thing was a medical thing, it was that or break my jaw or whatever, so then the insurance covered braces and I had to get them.  And as my teeth straightened, I was a little sad at how they changed, and I kind of felt like a fraud.  But then in my first year of college, I was out of braces but used a retainer, but I stopped going to my orthodontist because for any of the appointments I would have had to miss classes.  And I took that first year of college very seriously.  I even had backstage passes to a Garbage concert in Chicago but I didn't go, because it was the week before finals.  (I haven't always made the best decisions.)  So then my teeth gradually went back to some of their former crookedness--not the medical hazard they used to be, but I feel better about it, much more natural.  And I love Poe's teeth for being crooked as much as I love Alanis' teeth for being straight.

Speaking of Poe.  If I had to pick just one album to say was my favorite album of all albums ever, I really, really think I'd pick "Haunted" by Poe.  It was originally released on Halloween 2000, which means it has an eleventh birthday tomorrow, which I can't believe.  Because I'm not very good with words, here is an online music store's review:

HAUNTED, Poe's second release, is a concept album inspired by some recordings she found of her late father's speaking voice. Poe sampled those recordings and incorporated them into a narrative that's ostensibly about her feelings for and relationship with her father. The more you listen, though, the clearer it becomes that HAUNTED is an album about the big issues that affect all of humanity (life, death, family). The effect of the dead man's voice framed by Poe's eclectic arrangements (rock, hip-hop, electronica and more) is an eerie one, but there's enough thematic consistency and solid songwriting here to make the album a powerful statement rather than just an exercise in nostalgic melancholy.

Unfinished Business

Today, we have a few loose ends from previous posts that need wrapping up.  So like Wade Barrett in the image above, let's get a grip on things right away.  (Okay, that was lame, but fuck it, I don't need to justify opening with a hot picture like that!)

I brought up both Julie Brown and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark separately, and even compared the two of them.  However, I was remiss in failing to point out that the two worked together when Elvira made a guest appearance on Julie Brown's TV show, "Just Say Julie."  It was perfect, it was funny, it was everything you'd want it to be.  (They were having their periods at the same time.  That was fun!)

And speaking of Elvira, when I brought up her hunky movie co-star Daniel Greene, reader Mista kindly commented, and guided us to a clip from one of Daniel's other movies, Atomic Cyborg, or, Fists of Steel.

You can see, it was a pretty high-tech cyborg movie.

And yes, after years of frustration from the Elvira movie, we finally get to see him shirtless.  Pretty beefy, Bob!  (Bob was his character's name in Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, so it's primarily what I think of him as.)

I really love that sign in the movie!

And you can also see, Bob is a pretty intense driver.  I mean, his car even falls down a cliff and explodes.

Our boy Jomo is still a whipping boy.  Last night saw him take on Wade Barrett in another losing effort.

Again, the duality of loving jobbers: As these images attest, the sight of Jomo being manhandled is beautiful.

However, one can't help but fear that rumor may be true, and it could signal the end of a promising career with a company.

 

This was like a jobber match of old. During the match, Jomo was getting so little offense in, really just serving as Wade's punching bag, that I thought, "He can't go through all that and still lose. He has to win this one!"

Eventually, Jomo got the traditional jobber flurry of offense, but it wasn't enough, and Wade put him away handily.

Still, I feel grateful, more than anything, to see a match like this.  For now, there's no reason to fully believe rumors, or at least to let them impede on some hot jobber action.  So this wave of Jomo jobberdom is entirely welcome!

When talking about Mike Bennett, I compared him to Wade Barrett, though had no hard proof as to any actual similarities.  Below I present two images, Mike Bennett and Wade Barrett from behind.

I leave it to you to decide if their asses are quite similar, or if it's all in my mind.

P.S.  Guess who saw Joan Jett, bitches!  I'm sorry, that was more like Inner Arrogant Heel, not Inner Jobber at all.  You're not bitches.  I like you.