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Friday, April 26, 2013

Liar


A few days ago on Joe's blog, I outed myself as having been the kind of student who won't speak out in class.  I'd think the answer in my head, and think "I KNEW that!" when the answer was finally revealed...it was a bit frustrating and cowardly, I know.  That's not where my cowardice ended as a student, I'm afraid.  For instance, I was very turned on by Henry Rollins' strength and intensity, but back then, that was something I wasn't willing to accept about myself, so I just convinced myself that I wasn't at all interested.

LIAR!!

So sadly it's not until now that I can finally start getting into his music.  Not just the music either.  He's a really intelligent, compassionate (but still intense) guy.

Henry Rollins on Gay Marriage

I feel bad for sometimes being a cowardly little jobber.  And the intensity and the shouting in his music, I think back in high school, that would have been really good for me.  But no use in regretting.  Besides, if I HAD listened to it in high school, then now it would be branded in my head as "high school music," and honestly I hate remembering high school.  (I HATED school.)  So now it's new and fresh for me, so that's good.

And besides, something I would never have said back then: He's so fucking hot.

And I haven't mentioned his neck. I love his neck.












Sunday, April 21, 2013

The Kid's Alright, Part 2

The event: Gut Bash 4

The participants: Kid Brock vs. J-Rock

The catch-up: When strong but sweet (and self-admittedly green) Kid Brock agreed to have a match with vicious J-Rock, it looked pretty bad.  But the Kid actually went and got some good offense against the Gut Basher!  I mean, all that strength, you're sure to be able to do SOME damage to your opponent!  But how will things go now that J-Rock's pride has been injured?




Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Kid's Alright, Part 1

BG East's Kid Brock

Kid Brock is an amazing jobber at BG East.  Gut Bash 4, a match against J-Rock, starts with an interview with Kid Brock, an interview displaying his youth, enthusiasm, and inexperience.  We've already seen that J-Rock can be vicious, so the bright eyed Kid's doom seems imminent.  Kid Brock is a good kid: He releases a submission as SOON as his opponent gives up; he gives his opponent ample time to recover before following up his attacks, because that's only fair.  So of course he ends up in a match against someone who keeps cranking holds long after the victim has cried out his submission, and doesn't give his opponent time to breathe between rounds.  And Kid is vocal--his cries of pain make me want to rush to his aid.

But what's this?  He IS able to get some decent offense in...




The beefy heel is falling to the babyface in white?  Can this keep up?  Stay tuned!

Friday, April 19, 2013

No Apologies

Bo Roberts

I've come to realize that just because a group of people are attracted to the same gender, it doesn't mean they'll see eye to eye on everything.  Just like there may be a group of people attracted to the same gender and turned on by wrestling, but there are differences between what in wrestling turns them on.

Some people favor the give-and-take.  Two strong athletes in a contest of strength, skill, and wits, the outcome uncertain.  Some people favor the squash match.  One opponent will get little to no offense, and the other will dominate the match.  The outcome is predictable, but the pleasure comes in watching the punishment dished out.

From the wrestling companies out there, from other wrestling bloggers, and from commenters on wrestling blogs, I know that I must not be alone in favoring jobbers and jobbing and squash matches.  But sometimes it feels like I'm in the minority.  It seems the majority of all those listed above seem to express the sentiment that unlike others, they do NOT just want a one-sided squash match.  Unlike others, they do NOT just like a wrestler who looks good getting trashed.  Somewhere along the line I seem to have missed out on the implied "others."  So I was going to do a post kind of defending my position, but then thought, screw it.  Nothing needs "defended."  Just because other people are attracted to different wrestlers, different aspects of matches, doesn't mean that what *I* like is under attack.  So it's not so much defending my position as stating it.

Welcome to Inner Jobber.  I started this blog to take the time to appreciate that I think wrestling is hot, and that I think the losers in wrestling are the hottest.  They're not always on top, they get beaten up and embarrassed, but they come back for more.  They're vulnerable but they're resilient.  They're identifiable.  And oh yeah, it's hot as hell to watch.

For the next section I will use the terms "heel" and "jobber."  By heel I mean the wrestler dominating the match, and by jobber I mean the wrestler being dominated.  I know this broad terminology can be faulty.  Sometimes the "heel" can actually be the hero, and the "jobber" is the villain getting his comeuppance.  Likewise sometimes the "jobber" getting his ass handed to him is a worthy opponent having a bit of bad luck in a match, before he turns things around.

Also in the next section I'll be using the word "hot" a lot.  You know in real life I don't talk about wrestling all that often, or my turn-ons, and Inner Jobber has been a place for me to kind of explore these things.  So I've started using words I don't usually use (like "hot"), and my vocabulary may be a bit limited.  By "hot" I guess I mean "able to turn me on."  It doesn't just mean "handsome" because some non-traditionally handsome guys--ugly even if you're inclined to use the word--can be really hot, just like some admittedly handsome guys can just strike me as bland and do nothing for me.  "Hot" also doesn't just mean "ripped" for me either, because of the same things--sexy guys with big guts, or ripped guys with shredded abs but striking me as bland.

With that being understood...

HOT HEEL AND HOT JOBBER
A match definitely works for me with a hot heel and a hot jobber.  That way, the match is hot no matter WHO'S getting beaten up.  (That being said, I still like to be able to concentrate on one or the other at a time.)

HOT HEEL AND NON-HOT JOBBER
A match with a hot heel and a non-hot jobber doesn't do much for me.  Sure the heel's hot, but just watching someone hot being dominant over someone non-hot just isn't very exciting.  It's on par with watching a hot guy working out--hot, sure, but liable to get boring pretty quickly.

NON-HOT HEEL AND NON-HOT JOBBER
Clearly I must be waiting for something else to come on.

NON-HOT HEEL AND HOT JOBBER
This will do it for me, as much as a hot heel vs. a hot jobber would.  When I'm focusing on a jobber and he has a series of offense in there, a lot of times I'll fast forward through that anyway.  "Just get to the suffering!" As you can see from the following video featuring should-be-a-wrestling-jobber Bo Roberts, if the jobber's hot enough, then the heel can even be a waxed floor and an unyielding door frame, and it'll get me going.

"Hardwood Floors Hurt"

But variety is the spice of life--and that's not just a tired cliche.  Too much of any one thing can get old, and sometimes it's uplifting to see a jobber come out on top.  This is true in wrestling and also illustrated by Bo Roberts once again:

"Hardwood Floors Hurt 2: Revenge of the Fallen"

So...yeah.  I like wrestling and if you're reading this you probably do too.  I like jobbers and maybe you do too and maybe you don't.  But fortunately there's stuff out there no matter what you're looking for.  So even if people are all buying from similar companies, such as BG East or Thunder's Arena, we might be buying completely different DVD's.  We might be buying the same DVD's but focusing on different matches.  We might be focusing on the same matches but on different moments of the match.  Okay, I've seriously killed that by now...

So it's all just for fun and I hope we can all be friends and I know a blog feels a little conceited like what I have to say is SO important, which it isn't, but before I started blogging I enjoyed reading other people's blogs because of the whole "it's not just me" factor, and anyway it's fun to see the differences between us.

Next time on Inner Jobber: A hot jobber!

Love,
Stay Puft

Bo Roberts

Thursday, April 18, 2013

An Open Letter To Vince McMahon And The WWE

Dear Vince McMahon And The WWE,

I would like to offer you a deal: If you put Mason Ryan back on TV, then you can have John Cena and the Rock insult each other by calling each other gay as often as you like, and nobody in the CBGB community will complain.

Love,
Stay Puft

Image of Mason Ryan from Beefcakes of Wrestling, as photographed by David (because the WWE certainly doesn't provide any recent Mason Ryan images).

Monday, April 15, 2013

What Gives



So ordinarily, I prefer a straight-up wrestler to someone gimmicky, and when it comes to gear, I definitely prefer smaller trunks to tights or pants.  So how come Johnny Curtis being repackaged as Fandango--a ballroom dancer wearing tight pants--totally works for me.  Usually a new gimmick for a young star kind of fizzles and disappears real fast, but Fandango's been getting quite a bit of attention lately.  A lot of cranky wrestling fans are saying he's just enjoying some post-Wrestlemania flash-in-the-pan popularity that will fade faster than it came, but whatever.  Between dusting off their Undertakers and their Triple H's and their Rocks, they got to let something young hot and fresh shine through sometime, right?













Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Wrestling Is...Kind Of Gay

Some people will call wrestling "gay" as an attack.  Some people will DENY the "gayness" vehemently.  I, personally, think the "gayness" is wrestling's biggest appeal.  Now for some appreciation of the ABC's (Asses, Bulges, Crotches) of professional wrestling.

CM Punk's ass

Randy Orton's ass

Chris Masters' ass

Evan Bourne's bulge

Randy Orton's ass

Zack Ryder's bulge

Randy Orton's ass

CM Punk looking naked

Randy Orton's ass

Zack Ryder's ass

Randy Orton's ass

Chris Masters' ass

Randy Orton's ass

Evan Bourne and Randy Orton just looking sexy

Randy Orton's bulge

Chris Masters' ass

Randy Orton's bulge

CM Punk and Randy Orton just looking sexy

Randy Orton's ass

Randy Orton's and Edge's asses