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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Stalk Me

So, I hate when ads or articles or online photos don't credit the models or actors or wrestlers in them.  It's not creepy or anything, it's just nice to know people's names, give credit where credit's due, maybe find more pictures of them, follow their career, find out their height and weight, because even in your imagination you'd like to be ACCURATE, and have everybody in the right proportions to each other.

I've kept the two-page spread above for a long time because I love the big hulking sleeping uncredited lug in the photos.  Without being able to find out who he was, I just named him Roy.

The computer has recently made it a lot easier to identify such uncredited people.  On Google, you can go to Image Search, and then click on the little camera, and search by image, by putting in the file from your computer.  You get great results, but it DOES feel a little stalker-y.

But after years I found out that big beautiful Roy's name is Erick Seng, and he's 5'11", 225-235 lbs. at contest weight but 270-280 lbs. in the off-season (with blond hair and green eyes).  Although by now, he'll always be Roy to me.

See, Roy isn't Erick Seng.  Roy is a fantasy wrestler in my imagination who LOOKS like Erick Seng.  (And now I know Roy's height and weight finally.)  Roy's a huge, enthusiastic guy, and if he can get his hands on you in the ring, you're in trouble.  Unfortunately Roy isn't the brightest, and it's pretty easy to outsmart him in the ring.  Due to this, he's racked up way more losses than wins.  In fact, he's usually the guy to start off already in the ring, while his opponent gets an elaborate entrance.  Other guys use Roy as a tune-up match, and while his matches are entertaining, it's never really in question who's going to win the match (that is, not Roy).  But Roy enters every match thinking that he's "going to WIN this thing!"  Whether that's a result of his hugely positive spirit, or his density and slowness to learn, is debatable.  (He just WON'T learn.  If only I had a dime for every time he's been told that when you're in a sleeper hold, the harder you struggle, the faster you go out.  AND YET, it never fails: every time he's in a sleeper, EVERY TIME, he struggles and flails violently and goes out FAST.)

So all that Roy story I knew about just from the above two images.  But now, for the first time, I've been able to enjoy all these new images of Roy.  Exciting times!

And of course I'm not REALLY a stalker, Mr. or Miss Government Police Person secretly monitoring everybody's internet.  I don't want their addresses or e-mails.  And when I'm doing image searches, I avoid the candid shots of people getting into their cars in parking lots and stuff.  Pictures of people who don't know a camera's there are just creepy.  I'm not really a crazy stalker type, not REALLY.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Hail Atlantis

Mr. Atlantis: 5'9", 235 lbs.

I discovered Mr. Atlantis through this image from a recent Wrestling Arsenal:

As is usually the case, an already-hot image was instantly made hotter by Wrestling Arsenal's caption.  Using that image to search with, I found this page of Mr. Atlantis images, blessedly identifying the clueless and dense muscleman as Mr. Atlantis, and the mo-hawk as Scotty the Body.

(Not surprisingly, Bruno at Beefcakes of Wrestling has already featured Mr. Atlantis on his blog, beating us all to the jobber punch.)

This match took place at TCW's Night of Champions on 3/25/2012.  Sadly (but incredibly erotically), it doesn't look like Mr. Atlantis came out on top in this one.

Bonus Mr. Atlantis images:

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Red String Of Fate

Dolph Ziggler and Hugh Jackman seem to be joined by the red string of fate.  After crossing paths on Raw on September 19, 2011, the two now individually appear shirtless on different magazine covers at the same time.  Battle in the magazine racks!

And here are images of their first encounter, Zack Ryder (with Hugh Jackman) vs. Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) (which didn't end well for Dolph).  (Please excuse the lack of actual action screen caps, but Dolph and Zack both bounce around an awful lot, making clear shots kind of hard to achieve.)

Dolph looking naked.

Sneaky Hugh makes eye contact with you.

Epic flail.

Feel the love.

Match available on WWE Superstar Collection: Zack Ryder