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Saturday, September 28, 2013

Why Does There Gotta Be A Sacrifice

Hunkbash 12: Jake Jenkins vs. Kid Karisma

So Jake Jenkins is just harmlessly warming up for his match, right?

Surprise Ninja Attack!  How was Jake supposed to know that Kid Karisma would be lurking around to surprise him like a fucking Batman villain?  Who DOES that?


And then it's into the ring.  Not the usual cheerful ring with the cool stuff all over and the Wrestling Buddies on the couch, but the dark ominous ring from a Saw movie or something (but that DOES seem to be much sturdier).

But remember: Every jobber gets his flurry!


Sadly, Jobber Flurries tend to be short-lived.


Oh my god, this picture.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Reload


So you're being treated to a little break from my current Jake Jenkins obsession, because A: it's Randy Friday; and 2: I watched "12 Rounds 2: Reloaded" the other day and may as well talk about it.

Well, to be fair, this wasn't really my type of movie.  So really it's no surprise I didn't like it.  So it wouldn't be fair for me to talk about how much I disliked it, when there would be no real reason I'd like it.  (I wish critics and reviewers in magazines would follow my lead.)  But I will say a couple things about it.

No shirtless scenes, WTF!  Of Randy, I mean.  There's some topless chick at some part, but it's integral to the story.  If you didn't know some guy was banging her, and if she had been wearing a bra during said banging, the film would have had MUCH less impact.  But sexy Randy!  Come on!  Fully suited up the WHOLE TIME.  I had to watch one of his matches to remind myself that elsewhere, he's primarily in his little trunks, so it's all OK.

Also, in wrestling, he's around other wrestlers, and some are bigger than him and some are smaller than him.  But the movie pointed out that he's really very big.  You know, among mortals.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

U.R.A.Q.T.


"Is you dad a dealer?  'Cause you're dope to me!"

My mind has been fusing Jake Jenkins and M.I.A. together more and more lately.  I was thinking about why.  It might be this.  Meaning this not whiny, but matter-of-factly: The world is a chaotic, unhappy place.  And M.I.A.'s music and visual art also feel chaotic, but it's more about making a comfortable place for yourself IN the chaos, or maybe even making your own chaos to exist in.  And Jake Jenkins is the tale of what happens to something so...GOOD in the midst of all that chaos.  He's beautiful in the chaos, but the world isn't kind to something so pure.  Bear in mind the match of his I've seen is from Hunkbash 12, so it may feel that I'm discounting the fact that sometimes even something good and pure has to create its own chaos to survive, even if that means becoming something a little more spiked, a little jagged and edgy.







One more thing.  Something I've been wanting to do is to write out a blog, then copy and paste it into a free translation site, and translate it to something else, English to French for example.  And then paste THAT translation into the free translation site, and translate it back into English.  And then use THAT in the post.  I tried that with the above post, and below is the text.  I kind of like it.

_____________________________

My mind has been the merger Jake Jenkins and M. I.A. work together more and more recently. I was thinking about why. It is perhaps this. Meaning this not whiners, but a tone: The world is increasingly chaotic and unhappy. And M. I.A. music and visual art also feel chaotic, but it is more to make a comfortable place for you-even in the chaos, or perhaps even make your own chaos to exist. And Jake Jenkins is the tale of what happens to something so ... good in the middle of all that chaos. It is beautiful in the chaos, but the world is not kind to something so pure. Keep in mind the game of his that I have seen is of Hunkbash 12, so that it can have the feeling that i am discounting the fact that sometimes even something good and pure has to create its own chaos to survive, even if it means becoming something of a little more boosts, a little irregular and nervous.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Excuse Me Little Hombre


Still on about Jake Jenkins (aka Clayton Moats in the modeling world).  If I gave him entrance music, it would be "Hombre" by M.I.A.  That song, to me, is so sexy and sad.  Not the lyrics exactly, just what it sounds like.  And to me, that matches Jake Jenkins, sexy and sad.  Not that I mean that in a bad way or think he's sad or anything, but nice jobbers in general, you know?  Going in there all positive and skilled and beautiful, and losing.  And the opponent wanting to really, you know, embarrass you.  Hang in there, hombre!



Monday, September 16, 2013

Music, Wrestling And Well-Meaning Babyfaces


Alright, if any friends of Inner Jobber are at all "in" with BG East wrestling, will you please do me a favor?  Tell someone over there that they should make that DVD menu screen music available on the iTunes.  It's kind of like this dark sinister techno beat, and then this deep voice says, "Figure four...figure four..."  It's pretty awesome.  (I think the voice says even more holds on some of the DVD's, if it runs long enough.)

Above is the lovely Jake Jenkins, reminding me of Teen Wolf season one.  Jake Jenkins makes me think of Teen Wolf and love it even more, and Teen Wolf makes me think of Jake Jenkins and love HIM even more, in this never-ending Ouroboros of cuteness, innocence, and floppy black hair handles.  (Jake's a face in the only match of his that I've seen, but I think he's SUCH a good face.)

And below is Tyler Posey of Teen Wolf, from season one when his hair was at its floppiest and handle-est.  Love his character so much, so well-meaning and positive and a little dim.  (But I like dim nice people SO MUCH more than smart mean people.  But there are smart mean characters on the show who are hilarious so all my bases are covered anyway.  And I might have kind of an identity crisis where I'd rather be a dim nice person but might underneath be a smart mean person.  I hate that.)


Friday, September 13, 2013

Wrestling Identity

When I take to the wrestling mats, I'm not going to just use my boring old name "Stay Puft," nosiree.  (Well, maybe right at first, when I'm just starting out.  And I'll have my last name, PUFT, printed across the back of my trunks.  Or should it be the front?)  But when I make it big enough to have an actual gimmick, I will be...Pelecinid!  After one of the most horrifying bugs I've ever seen, the North American Pelecinid.  I saw one a couple years ago and had no idea what the fuck it was.  It was like a big black wasp with a scorpion tail, on my windshield.  Threatening me with death or with touching me or whatever.

So with such a powerful, fear-inducing namesake, for sure I will wear a mask in the ring.  But I will take a page from El Elegido's book, and wear a mask that lets my hair fall out the back.  Know why?  Sheer vanity.  And it'll give opponents the opportunity to grab me by the hair to punish me for my vanity.  As if anyone could grab a hold of...Pelecinid!

And P.S.: Happy Friday 13.

El Elegido

Pelecinid

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Moving Into The Future (WITH ADDENDUM)


With wrestling back in the Olympics (yea!), they are looking at changes in regards to rules, and also uniform, to update the sport, increase its popularity, and ensure its survival into the future:

"Freestyle wrestlers could wear fight shorts and a tight-fitting microfiber T-shirt. Greco-Roman wrestlers may even go shirtless.

"Actor Billy Baldwin, who was part of wrestling's delegation, said he could see the change for entertainment value. 'It's why beach volleyball is on for 17 hours in prime time and we're buried at three in the morning,' he said."

Works for me!  Now let me just anticipate some of the arguments among traditionalists and counter-arguments by those for change.  This way, we can get it ALL out of our system and move into the future.

"AN UPDATED UNIFORM--AND THE THOUGHT OF SHIRTLESS WRESTLING--WOULD BE A DISGRACE AND A MOCKERY!  SINGLETS HAVE BEEN WORN FOR YEARS!!"

"YEAH BUT THEY USED TO WRESTLE IN THE NUDE!  THAT'S REALLY CLASSICAL AND NO ONE'S ASKING THEM TO DO THAT!!"

Whew!  With all that arguing out of the way (you're welcome), let's look at more Kurban Kurbanov--covered up AND topless.

ADDENDUM!!

There may have been a bit of a stink when they tried changing uniforms a few years back (around 2005?), and that met with resistance, but I think now, after almost losing the sport from the Olympics, and its future there not guaranteed, maybe people WON'T resist it so much.  Realizing that change might be worth what was almost lost.