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Thursday, November 28, 2013

Quavers, Part 2

Celebrate Thanksgiving with Part 2 of Quavers, a recap of BG East's Hunkbash 6: Brad Leonard vs. Mr. Big, wherein Brad suffers with hair flopping, body quivering, and cries rising to a panicked pitch.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Quavers, Part 1

BG East's Hunkbash 6: Brad Leonard vs. Mr. Big.  From the photos on the web, I knew Brad Leonard was beautiful, which prompted me to order this DVD.  But a lot of great things about him don't translate to still life: His easy-going personality, his ever-present smirk, his youthful bounce.

Or, when things aren't going his way in-ring: His gasping and whimpering, the way his voice climbs when he gets panicky.  And above all else, the way he quivers.  Damn but this boy quivers well!

Brad comes to the ring full of confidence.  His opponent, Mr. Big, arrives.  Mr. Big is no-nonsense, huge, tattooed and intimidating.  Brad smiles at his opponent, refusing to be intimidated by size.  "Ain't scared of you!" he says.

At first Brad's confidence serves him well.  He takes control, and even has a bit of fun, arrogantly doing push-ups while he has Mr. Big trapped in a headscissors.

But foolish Brad...!  His lighthearted horseplay enrages Mr. Big, and when he takes control, he's out for blood...

To be continued!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Sacred Duty 2: The Brat

If, as Inner Jobbers, it is our sacred duty to imagine beautiful non-wrestlers AS wrestlers, then we cannot ignore 19-year-old bodybuilder Jeff Seid (6'0", 190).

Imagining him as a wrestler becomes exceedingly easy, since the work is done for us.  From Bard's Sidelineland, a site for sharing wrestling fiction, again comes Alex with stories featuring Spartan, a supremely cocky teenage bodybuilding stud.  Putting Jeff in a wrestling ring, I find myself borrowing from Alex' stories shamelessly, because he's REALLY nailed this character!  In fact these stories were my introduction to Jeff Seid, and I had been missing a bratty, big-mouthed, over-confident powerhouse in my fictional universe.

In conclusion: Jeff Seid.  Imagine him as a wrestler, because until he gets hired by an actual wrestling promotion, SOMEBODY has to!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Sacred Duty

Inner Jobbers!  There seems to be no end of beautiful people out there.  And I ask you this one question: If WE don't imagine them stripped down to wrestling gear and beating the living shit out of each other, then who will?  WHO WILL?

For instance, today's fitness model/actor/graphic designer Jeremy Williamson, 5'11, 180.  Pretty face, blue eyes and floppy blond hair: To avoid ending up somebody's ragdoll jobber, he'd better be pretty aggressive, right?  But I don't know, he seems pretty laid back and easy going to me...

Friday, November 22, 2013

Antonio And Randy

Who do you like to see in control?  Personally, I think it's win-win either way.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Goldberg, Incapacitated

We've seen the beginning of the end for Goldberg, as he fought valiantly against the odds for the sake of his career.  With his tag team partner and former trainer out of the picture, it was child's play for a plant in the audience to blind Goldberg with some mace to the eyes.

After easily outsmarting the strongman, the heels had their way with him, and this is where we resume our story...

Ah, you see, there's a simple explanation to the Centaur pose: Luger was lifting Goldberg for a devastating double team maneuver.

Finally, enough was enough.  Clearly Goldberg could take no more; he was powerless to kick out of Luger's pin.

After the bell proclaiming his defeat (and the end of his career), a blind and defeated Goldberg struggled in vain to get to his feet.  His former trainer, Dewayne Bruce, was there to tend to his fallen student, no doubt racked with his own feelings of guilt for having been unable to salvage his student's livelihood.  Nevertheless, Bruce was there for his fallen friend, offering what succor he could.  At this point, Goldberg's ruined career could be put on the back burner; his physical health was also at stake.

The heels, with their young protege in tow, made their triumphant way up the ramp, strutting and boasting as though they had accomplished something great.  And who's to say they hadn't?

Meanwhile, a shocked and almost hushed arena watched the intensely personal moments of a teacher trying to nurse his utterly defeated student back to health, pouring water into his damaged eyes.

The once-mighty hero obediently submitted to these ministrations, crawling helplessly on the floor, unable to rise without physical assistance.

Meekly, the broken man was led out of the arena, away from the cameras, and out of the limelight.

And with that, the mighty had fallen.  Evil had triumphed.  A legacy of strength and dominance was obliterated, the images of power replaced with one of complete helplessness:

The End.