Translate Inner Jobber!

Friday, July 31, 2015

Dancing Barefoot

A friend of Inner Jobber, mraxus, e-mailed me about a Beefcakes of Wrestling post (Hi, Bruno!) in which the hotness of wrestling barefoot is discussed, particularly against a bebooted opponent ("bebooted" should mean "wearing boots," right?).  Anyway, mraxus drew to my attention WCW's Prince Iaukea, AKA Mike Hayner.  Somehow, despite my love of the jobbers of WCW, I had never come across Prince Iaukea.  So definitely thank you, mraxus!

In the e-mail, he also sent links to hot Iaukea matches (barefoot vs. boots, of course), which I share here:

Iaukea vs. Hammer

Iaukea vs. Lord Steven Regal

And, possibly most importantly of all, I discovered among mraxus' videos, Prince Iaukea vs. Inner Jobber's Jobber of the Year himself:

Iaukea vs. Johnny Swinger!  Will Swinger (AKA Parisi, who FYI starts in the ring while Iaukea gets an entrance) triumph, or will he cement his position as Jobber of the Year by losing to an adorable, barefoot jobber boy?  Oh the suspense!

...and one of Swinger:

Thursday, July 30, 2015


So here's an old chestnut that's quite popular on the internet:

I assume Vince Lombardi's quote is meant to be a meditation on the all-encompassing importance of victory, posed purely as a hypothetical question.  But you know when hypothetical questions don't work?  When there's an easy answer.

"If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?"

"Because everybody's kind of an asshole."

See, for a lot of people, this goes beyond winning feeling good, being a validation of your hard work.  It's about being THE Winner, separated from the Losers.  (Because there HAVE to be Losers if there's a Winner.)  And I think Winners enjoy thinking that Losers look at them either in admiration and awe, or in hatred and jealousy.  I have to break it to the Winners, though, that as a Loser, I don't look at them in either of those ways.

I see Winners more like pterodactyls.  Sure they're awesome, but they don't have much to do with my life, so they don't honestly cross my mind all that often.

Say, speaking of pterodactyls, check out the wingspan on Simeon Panda.  (Because what am I gonna do, leave a post with no hot guy for you to imagine in a wrestling ring?)

"Inner Jobber: Where we're ALL Winners!"

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

How Did I Miss THIS

Holy crap!  How did this match get by me without me noticing until just now?

From Cameron Matthews: Barry Burke vs Lon DuMont and KARN

You kidding me?  Someone as big and hot as Brian Cage getting double-teamed?  And you KNOW it's gonna be great, since as a heel, Lon Dumont is like a sadistic genius.

Really, this is MY type of match.  This will probably be my FAVORITE match.  So big thanks to the wrestlers involved, and to Cameron for making it happen!

No thanks to my wallet, for being such a skinny little jobber on me right now.  But my very next extra $25 will be going to this match, and it will be well worth it.  And in the meantime, I am going to drool over the images.  (I only stole a few images; more are up at Cameron's site, where you can order the match.)

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Taking A Chance

In keeping with yesterday's post comes another model who looks good both smooth AND hairy: Brian Edward Laferriere.

The hottest models are clearly made to be wrestlers, though.  Wouldn't you just love to see Brian Laferriere in the ring?  Or on the mats?  Yeah, models who generously put their bodies on display not only in photoshoots, but in wrestling matches, are definitely the kindest models.

Monday, July 27, 2015


Fitness model Markus Ricci, 5'9.  There are images of Markus smooth, and there are images of Markus hairy.  You will please note that I did not title this post "Smooth OR Hairy," because both ways are so appealing that really I couldn't choose, and why bother when you can just appreciate both anyway.  So pretty either way.  I guess it depends what you're going for; when he's smoother, there's like a Cameron Matthews-y playfulness about him, and when he's beardier and hairier he comes off more serious.


As Alex R points out in the comments section of this post, Alex Miller used Markus Ricci as a model for a character in his "Route 69" series.  Alex has expertly cast Markus as Mr. Handsome, a skilled wrestler whose arrogance is outmatched only by his beauty.

(Now, I found an untitled image of Markus Ricci saved in my computer, with no knowledge of who he was or where or when I had saved it.  I thought I must have saved it from Alex's site, but he never posted the image I had found.  Maybe a homoerotic wrestling faerie (working for the homoerotic wrestling gods) put it in there, just to make sure this all came about.  Anyway.)

Catch Mr. Handsome's appearances in Alex Miller's stories here:

Route 69: Odessa, TX

Route 69: Xenia, OH

If you haven't been reading it, "Route 69" is an epic tale of homoerotic wrestling, sweeping through the United States and the entire alphabet.  It's about love and lust, trust and betrayal, rising to the top, falling to the bottom, chasing dreams, calling it quits, and above all else, friendship.  Set against the backdrop of the catcalls and body blows of high-stakes wrestling matches, obviously.

In fact, not only "Route 69," but ALL of Alex Miller's series (The Cave, The AWL, Danny Chase, his one-offs, EVerything) are incredibly hot, but still character-driven.  You get to know the guys, and their motivations, and some you come to hate, and some you come to really rally behind ("Hang in there, Mr. X!  You can come back from this!").  And best of all, Alex really listens to reader feedback.  Telling him how much you love a character might really make a big difference in their reappearance!

So here are the links to Alex's blogs.  'Cause really, they're just a shit-ton of fun.

The Cave

New Stories

Sunday, July 26, 2015

From Serbia With Lust

...comes Lepomir Bakic, 5'10, 209 lbs.

Here is the first image of him I came across, in a magazine:

And then trying to find out who this mystery muscleman was turned out to be tricky, as his image appears in many stock images (which don't usually credit the models).  But I persevered, for YOU, Inner Jobbers!  (Well okay, mainly for me.)

(I'm a big fan of this picture.)