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Monday, July 31, 2017

Coquina Clutch

I've been pretty harsh on poor Brock Lesnar before, but I've started liking him more than I used to.  There are several things in his favor, not the least of which is his being a big muscular guy having been trapped in Samoa Joe's Coquina Clutch...






Sunday, July 30, 2017

Scrappy Jobber

Okay, bear with me.  This is going to seem meandering, but it WILL get around to wrestling, I promise.


As a kid, I watched Scooby-Doo.  I remember very vividly watching the Guiding Light end credits waiting for Scooby to start (and I STILL remember the damn Guiding Light tune).  Like a lot of people, I HATED Scrappy, his loud little nephew who was always willing to fight.  (In all honesty though I didn't much care about Shaggy and Scooby either, I liked Daphne and Freddy and Velma and haunted houses and ghosts and mysteries and stuff--the stuff that Shaggy and Scooby always ran away from damn it.  But OCCASIONALLY when they split up, Velma would go with Shaggy and Scooby, I liked that.)

BUT re-wathcing2111111111wqqqw2

Hee hee, a cat walked across my computer up there, and I feel like leaving it in.  Where was I...

BUT re-watching Scooby as an adult, I love Scrappy.  Because he's like, "No, look, this shit needs to get done, let's fucking DO IT."  (That should be his catch phrase instead of "Puppy power.")  And Shaggy and Scooby are absolutely worthless cowards.  No threat too small to run away from.  I will say this in their favor though: they obviously care about Scrappy.  Because in his eagerness to do what's right, Scrappy fails to adequately gauge his own abilities as well as his foes'.  And Shags and Scoob are sure to carry him away from any fight they suspect he couldn't win.

SO Scrappy's like that upbeat jobber who doesn't realize how doomed he is, with a moral obligation to never back down, however outnumbered he is.  AND with this crazy loyal love for his uncle Scooby, failing to recognize Scooby's cowardice, and dragging his uncle TOWARDS danger so they can fight the good fight as often as Scooby drags his nephew AWAY from danger.

By the way, I hope you all know who Shaggy and Scooby and Scrappy are, but this is long enough already without a lot of explanation I'm sure you don't need, and anyway, there's always internet research if you DON'T know.

ANYWAY now I love Scrappy for his willingness to fight, even if he had to drag a couple of cowardly pussies kicking and screaming to try to keep them from disgracing themselves.

AND in the match featuring Apollo Crews vs. Braun Strowman, Apollo Crews is Scrappy and Braun Strowman is a disgruntled cabbage farmer.  Apollo-Scrappy goes in all heart, with every expectation of winning.  And Titus O'Neil is his uncle Scooby, trying to keep himself out of danger--UNTIL it comes to attempting to help his beloved nephew.  And Braun-cabbage farmer is a great heel, complete with raising the shoulder before the three-count and licking his jobber's head (?!--around the 2:10 mark) and that awesome kicking-him-out-of-the-air thing and throwing him unceremoniously into an ambulance and everything.













Saturday, July 29, 2017

Beach Brawl

It's bad enough that often here at Inner Jobber, non-wrestlers are featured.  But on a day like today, when it's not even photographs, but artwork, you might be saying to yourself, or tweeting to your friends: "FAILING INNER JOBBER NOT EVEN FEAT. WRESTLERS?  FAKE BLOG.  SAD."

So the game is Fire Emblem: Fates; the characters are two royal families (two brothers and two sisters each) whose countries are at war with each other.  (You can side with either house, or find a way to unite them all against a common foe.)  A light-hearted bonus level in the game ("Beach Brawl") features all eight siblings from both families battling for a winning ticket for a tropical vacation.  Upon completion, the player is rewarded with an illustration of the winning prince or princess relaxing in their own way on the beach.

Is this important?  Why?  YES it is and I'll tell you.  Eye candy for straight guys is absolutely nothing new in video games, but THIS time, sexy beach illustrations of the four male characters are also provided.  A big step for straight ladies and gay guys, demographics it feels like the video game industry is REALLY slow to pick up on.  Some people may prefer equality to be gained by STOPPING objectifying women, but if equality is gained by objectifying men more often, I can live with that.

Xander of Nohr

Ryoma of Hoshido

Leo of Nohr

Takumi of Hoshido

Elise of Nohr

Sakura of Hoshido

Camilla of Nohr

Hinoka of Hoshido

Friday, July 28, 2017

Randy Friday: Battleground


From the 2017 "Battleground" pay-per-view: Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal.



 



Thursday, July 27, 2017

Nice Beard

Yesterday was a big day for fans of chins and jaws in televised mainstream professional wrestling.  Today things get a little bit hairier.  Going through WWE.com's roster page, I've selected for today examples of facial hair that I'm a fan of.  (I have a bad feeling that some people think "Big Beard = Personality," but personally I love the well-controlled look of a guy who knows how to reign it in.)  Also, I'm including consistent stubble today; it's still facial hair.

AJ Styles

Apollo Crews

Ariya Daivari

Fandango

Jinder Mahal

Mojo Rawley

Randy Orton

Roman Reigns

Samir Singh

Sunil Singh

Tye Dillinger

Tyler Breeze

Zack Ryder

For the record though: Not that big beards are deal breakers.  A hot guy with facial hair I don't like is still undeniably hot.  As such:

Tony Nese

So, what are some of your favorite wrestling beards?  Do you favor the mountain man style of just letting 'em grow lush and rampant?  Are you somebody who prefers no facial hair at all?  Somewhere in between?

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Clean-Shaven

Going to WWE.com's homepage and scrolling through the roster, it's easy to see that beards are in.  The clean-shaven look is so rare, that I can include most of them right here.  Hello, handsome.  How brave of you to show us your face.

This is not me speaking out against beards in general.  Very soon at Inner Blogger, I will be sharing some very nice beards.  Very nice beards, indeed.  Meantime, here are a few guys who dare to get their chins out.

(Oh, I did wonder if I should include guys with nice stubble, five o'clock shadows, because that's not like a BEARD beard.  But I decided for today's purposes clean-cut means smooth, and nice stubble will be included with nice beards.  'Cause it's still kind of a beard.)

Bo Dallas

Brock Lesnar

Chad Gable

Dolph Ziggler

Epico Colon

John Cena

TJ Perkins

Xavier Woods