4. Control

Evan Bourne vs. Randy Orton

3. Sapped

Bob Sapp vs. Danshoku Dino

2. Hero Hunks

Braden Charron vs. Scrappy, Hero Hunks

1. Iron

"Iron" Mike Sharpe

Old Pro vs. New Blood

88 Wrestling's Chase Lundquist vs. Ethan Andrews

So I've stated here before: Ethan Andrews is vicious, and Chase Lundquist is gorgeous.  Could there be a better set-up for a match?

Chase Lundquist vs. Ethan Andrews

It's like they had this beautiful new guy, Chase Lundquist.  He's a serious competitor, but he's not exactly on a winning streak.  So what do 88 Wrestling decide?  "Let's have him go against a super-vicious heel who not only has an impressive win-loss record, but enjoys the cruelty of the match as he racks up his wins!"  Good call, 88W.  (And I say that in all sincerity.)

But don't count out Chase already!  As I've seen from his match against Rex Bedford, Chase is no pushover.  And he's not going to let THIS match be entirely one-sided.

But Ethan Andrews...This isn't somebody who CARES what body-beautiful Chase wants.  And as an established bad-ass, Ethan has absolutely NO interest in helping Chase build up his WIN column.

So...the earnestness of a blue-chipper like Chase Lundquist.  The attitude of a strutting alpha like Ethan Andrews.  What more could you want in a match?

Zach Altovito Sleepered Out

I ordered my first video from Muscle Domination Wrestling: ZZZ 15 (Muscle Master Kevin vs. Zach Altovito).  And I love it.  So much.

Those who like competitive matches might not like this kind of video.  It isn't much of a "match" at all, more an exhibition of holds--or rather, an exhibition of Zach Altovito, viaholds, as Kevin expertly puts him on display.  That said, I personally wouldn't watch a video of just a guy flexing and posing.  I need more than that, even a veneer of wrestling will do.  So I was pleasantly surprised by this video.

Starting with Zach Altovito (flexing and posing--he thought it was going to be THAT kind of video), Muscle Master Kevin comes in, they have words, and then Kevin surprise attacks Zach with a sleeper, putting him all the way out right away.  For the rest of the video, Kevin wakes Zach up and puts him back to sleep, again and again, maintaining his non-stop patter of dominance and arrogance.  But for my purposes, it's a believable enough premise: caught off guard, Zach couldn't defend against the first sleeper, and after that point, he was weaker and less able to defend against each subsequent sleeper.

Zach sells great, and is gorgeous--powerful, handsome, a perfect hairy babyface.  Kevin is a great sadistic heel, who gets what's sexy about a huge guy submitting in wrestling.  It might be a specific kind of video, but for me, it pushes all the right buttons: I'm the kind of guy who, when I like a wrestler, I usually fast forward through the parts where he's in control, to get to the parts of him jobbing.  So a video like this?  No fast forwarding required.

AND.  There's this dragon sleeper...it's good.

Jobbers In Movies 1

Richard Branden: One of the stars of Jobbers In Movies 1

Because jobbers aren't just confined to wrestling, eh?

Featuring:

Bareknuckle Fighter: Angel Rafael Toste Suarez ("Jason Bourne" 2016)

Outworld Warrior: Richard Branden ("Mortal Kombat" 1995)

Wess: Vesselin Shoumantov ("Bloodsport 4: The Dark Kumite" 1999)

Boagrius: Nathan Jones ("Troy" 2004)

Jobbers in Movies 1!  The "1" in the title seems a little arrogant to me, frankly.  I don't have another one lined up or anything.  Maybe someday!

Razor Ramon vs. Yokozuna

Back to basics with this one.

Rex vs. Chase: Stretch Armstrong

88 Wrestling: Rex Bedford vs. Chase Lundquist

Rex Bedford is a great heel.  He's mouthy, arrogant, and the description that came into my head watching this match: just downright bratty.  As a good heel, when he's in charge he's dominant and mouthy, and when he's not in charge he suffers nicely and is STILL mouthy.  A good heel really elevates a match, adding stakes and drama and just more story.  So good on you, Rex.

There, now that I've given Rex his due, I can gush about Chase Lundquist guilt-free.  My god!  What a beauty.  While I used the word "bratty" for Rex, with all its association with youth, Chase Lundquist definitely seems like a man.  I don't THINK it's the beard alone (though it IS a nice beard, neatly trimmed, you don't see those a lot nowadays); Chase has this sense of gravity and dignity in the ring.  Oh, and he's hot as fuck.  A beautiful face, great body with eye-popping abs and SUCH a nice ass (noticeable around the 20 minute 40 second mark, if you find yourself watching this match).  But it's not just what he LOOKS like, it's how he moves, the sounds he makes whether suffering or in control, the youthful maturity (if you know what I mean) and dignity.  And the way Rex (heel that he is) is determined to make poor Chase a living blond buff Stretch Armstrong doll.  Now to be fair, Chase takes his turns stretching Rex beyond HIS limits of endurance as well.  It's just that Chase happens to LOOK more like Stretch Armstrong.

Yesterday, you may remember, I talked about my favorite part of that match being Round 3.  I'm figuring out that maybe that'll just be a given for me anymore.  I like the ending, I like one warrior's work paying off in victory, but only after he gets really determined and realizes he has to go that extra mile, and MAKE THAT BITCH TAP DAMN IT!!  Er-hrm.  Excuse me.  What I mean is: "Hot guys, hot holds, hot match."  Thank you.

Tito vs. Dash: Work For It

Tito Santos vs. Dash Decker: King of the Ring Final.

Previous match SPOILERS ahead: In the first round of King of the Ring, I was a little surprised that Tito Santos won.  Again, I underestimated him because he's cute, with big ears and a deceptively upbeat demeanor that belies his viciousness.  So I SHOULDN'T have been surprised that he made it all the way to the finals, and I SHOULDN'T have been surprised that he can even give Dash Decker a run for his money.  But like any true jobber, I never learn.

This is not a squash by any means.  Both these guys worked hard to get to this point, and they work hard now that they're here.  That said, Round 3 is my favorite, for being most squash-like.  For all that hard work, they get frustrated with each other, they get mean.  The winner forces the loser to say stuff.  That'll push my buttons every time.

So for a hard-fought battle with a climactic finishing scene that truly feels earned, this match gets the Inner Jobber Seal of Approval.

Match kindly provided for review by 88 Wrestling.